joanawanders

What if I fall? Oh darling what if you fly?

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During daytime I daydream. At night I make my dreams come true.

  • The Year I Decided to Show Up

    At the start of this year, I gave myself two goals.

    1. Volunteer at least once a month – Doing this helps me step out of my survival mode, and remember that I have something to give even in small ways.
    2. Finally create a YouTube channel – A dream that had been sitting on my “someday” list for years.

    I’ve wanted to create videos for years.

    I simply liked the idea of documenting moments and telling stories. But I had been stuck on Someday Island. Every time I thought about starting, I found another reason to wait.

    I am busy.

    I don’t have the right camera.

    I don’t know what niche I want.

    I don’t like being on camera.

    Maybe next month. Maybe next year.

    Then, AI happened. I’ve been constantly bombarded by it. While it has its benefits, it feels like everything now needs to happen so fast, without thinking, without feeling. The more I used it, the more drained I felt.

    Why Silent Vlogs

    Around that time, I watched one of Maeve’s videos about vlogging as a shy person, and I took it as a sign. I’ve been following her on YouTube for a while, and as someone who isn’t naturally outgoing and doesn’t enjoy putting myself in the spotlight, her approach felt achievable. It didn’t feel like I had to become a completely different person just to start creating videos.

    I started filming random clips: walks, meals, little moments throughout the day.

    There’s no pressure to constantly talk. No pressure to perform. The moments get to speak for themselves.

    Mangrove Planting in Batangas

    I recently joined a mangrove planting activity in Batangas.

    If you’ve never planted mangroves before, it’s not exactly glamorous. You’re standing in mud, trying not to lose your balance, sweating under the sun, and hoping your shoes survive the day.

    But somewhere between planting seedlings and talking to fellow volunteers, I found myself feeling grateful. Grateful that I signed up. Grateful that I showed up. Grateful that I finally had a way to document experiences like this.

    The activity reminded me why volunteering was one of my goals this year in the first place. It’s easy to spend all of our time focused on ourselves, our careers, our problems, our plans. Volunteering pulls me out of that mindset. It reminds me that there are communities, causes, and people who need support, and that even small efforts matter.

    If you’re curious about what a mangrove planting activity actually looks like, I’ve shared the full experience on my YouTube channel.

    Looking back, I think my two goals are more connected than I originally realized.

    • Volunteering allows me to contribute to something bigger than myself.
    • Creating videos allows me to honor a creative part of myself that I’ve ignored for far too long.

    One is about giving back. The other is about creating.

    And both started the same way: by finally stopping the endless cycle of “someday.”

    I don’t know where this YouTube channel will go. I don’t know how many volunteer activities I’ll complete this year. But for the first time in a long time, I’m not waiting for the perfect moment anymore.

    I’m just showing up.

    With a tiny camera in my pocket and a willingness to see where it takes me.


  • The Stars Remind Me of Who I Am

    The Stars Remind Me of Who I Am

    I once heard a song that said, “Every time I look up in the sky, I see stars, and I can hear my God say, “This is who you are.”

    I don’t remember the title or the rest of the lyrics, but that one line stayed with me. And now, every time I look at the night sky, I am reminded of it. Like a quiet echo from somewhere beyond.

    There’s something comforting about that. No matter how uncertain life feels, no matter how lost I get in my own thoughts, the stars remain. They don’t rush, they don’t demand anything. They just are… and when I look at them, I feel like I am, too. As if, for a moment, everything is exactly as it should be.

    The first time I heard that song lyric, I thought it was just words. But then, on nights when the world felt heavy, when doubt settled into my bones, I would step outside, lift my gaze, and there they were.

    The stars,

    Shimmering in quiet defiance of the void. And the voice, always the same, always gentle but firm:

    This is who you are.

    At first, I wondered what it meant. Was it telling me I was small, just another speck in an endless universe? Or was it saying the opposite? That I, too, was made of fire and brilliance, that I belonged to something far greater than I could understand?

    Maybe both.

    I think about how stars burn, how they collapse, how they are born again in ways we cannot fully see. I think about how their light travels across time, reaching us long after they are gone. And I realized maybe I, too, am meant to burn, to fall apart, to rise again. Maybe my existence is not just a fleeting moment, but something eternal, something woven into the fabric of the universe itself.

    And then, I notice the moon.

    She stands among them, luminous yet quiet, letting the stars surround her. They do not compete. They do not dim her glow, nor does she take from their light. Instead, they exist together in harmony. Each shining in its own way, each holding space for the other.

    Maybe I am both moon and star.

    Some nights, I am the quiet glow, reflecting light in the darkness. Other nights, I am fire itself, burning with my own brilliance.

    I am the one who looks up at the stars and listens. The one who feels the pull of something greater, something divine. The one who finds meaning in the quiet signs. The time on the clock, the shimmer of the moon, the words of a song that won’t leave my mind.

    I am both light and shadow, fire and stillness.

    I am someone who is searching, not because I am lost, but because I know there is more.

    Maybe who I am isn’t something to find but something to remember. A truth that’s always been there, waiting for me to see it clearly. And maybe that’s why the stars keep calling, because they already know.

  • New Age Spirituality Through the Lens of Magic Knight Rayearth

    New Age Spirituality Through the Lens of Magic Knight Rayearth

    Magic Knight Rayearth is a classic anime series that aired in the 1990s. It tells the story of three young girls, Hikaru, Umi, and Fuu, who are transported to the magical world of Cephiro. There they discover that they have been chosen to become the Magic Knights, warriors who must save the world from destruction.

    While Magic Knight Rayearth may seem like just another magical girl anime series, it actually has deep roots in New Age spirituality. The series explores themes of self-discovery, personal growth, and spiritual awakening, all of which are central tenets of New Age spirituality.

    The three main characters represent different aspects of the human psyche. Hikaru is the embodiment of the heart, Umi represents the mind, and Fuu symbolizes the soul. Together, they must learn to work in harmony and balance these different aspects to achieve their goals.

    The series also touches on the idea of the interconnectedness of all things. The world of Cephiro is sustained by the will and emotions of its inhabitants, and the Magic Knights must learn to tap into this energy to save the world. This is a common theme in New Age spirituality, which emphasizes the importance of recognizing our connection to all living things and the universe as a whole.

    Moreover, the concept of the “Magic Knights” themselves can be seen as a metaphor for the journey towards spiritual enlightenment. The girls are tasked with defeating evil forces that threaten the balance of the world, and in doing so, they must confront their own fears and limitations. They learn to trust in their own inner strength and wisdom, and they come to understand the power of love and compassion.

    As an adult, I found myself drawn to exploring spirituality and the deeper meaning of life. Growing up, I had always felt a sense of emptiness and a longing for something more, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. It wasn’t until I began to explore different spiritual practices and philosophies that I began to understand this longing and find fulfillment.

    One of the spiritual practices that resonated with me was New Age spirituality. I was drawn to its emphasis on personal growth, self-discovery, and the interconnectedness of all things. I found myself exploring different New Age practices such as meditation, energy healing, and visualization, and I began to see positive changes in my life. It was then that I came to realize that Magic Knight Rayearth was a powerful reflection of New Age spirituality. The themes of self-discovery and spiritual awakening in the show resonated with me and helped me to connect with the deeper aspects of myself.

    Through my exploration of spirituality, I have come to understand that there is much more to life than just the physical world. I have found a sense of peace and purpose that I didn’t have before, and I have learned to cultivate practices that nourish my mind, body, and spirit. I continue to explore and learn more about spirituality, and I am grateful for the ways it has enriched my life.

  • Book Recommendations

    Reading books is one of the most enriching experiences that a person can have. It allows us to explore new worlds, meet interesting characters, and gain knowledge about a variety of subjects. In this blog post, I will share my favorite books and why I love them.

    “The Novice: A Story of True Love” by Thich Nhat Hanh is a heartwarming tale that tells the story of Kinh Tam, a young girl who disguises herself as a novice monk to escape an arranged marriage. As she studies with the master, she falls in love with another novice monk, and together they face a number of challenges and obstacles in their pursuit of true love.

    What I love about this book is the beautiful way in which Thich Nhat Hanh weaves together the themes of love, mindfulness, and the search for inner peace. The story is rich with symbolism and Buddhist teachings, and the characters are both relatable and inspiring. The writing is gentle, yet powerful, and the book is a reminder of the beauty and transformative power of true love.

    “The Five People You Meet in Heaven” and “The Next People You Meet in Heaven” by Mitch Albom. ” The first book follows the journey of Eddie, an elderly man who dies and is taken on a journey to meet five people who had a significant impact on his life. Through these encounters, Eddie gains a deeper understanding of the interconnectedness of all things and the true meaning of life. The sequel follows the story of Annie, a young girl who is saved by Eddie’s sacrifice and is taken on her own journey to meet five people who will help her understand the importance of forgiveness and the power of love.

    Both books are beautifully written, poignant, and thought-provoking, and they remind us of the importance of cherishing the relationships that we have with others and living a life of meaning and purpose.

    “The Stars Shine Down” by Sidney Sheldon is another favorite of mine. The novel tells the story of Lara Cameron, a self-made millionaire who rises to the top of the real estate industry through her intelligence, hard work, and determination. The novel explores the themes of ambition, greed, and the cost of success.

    I love this book because it showcases the complexities of human nature and the various factors that contribute to success. The characters are multifaceted and the plot is full of unexpected twists and turns. The novel is a reminder of the importance of staying true to ourselves and our values, even in the face of adversity.

    “Tuesdays with Morrie” by Mitch Albom is a memoir that chronicles the author’s experiences visiting his former college professor, Morrie Schwartz, who is dying of ALS. Through a series of conversations, Morrie imparts his wisdom and insights on a variety of topics, including love, death, and the meaning of life.

    This book is a powerful reminder of the importance of living a meaningful life and cherishing the relationships that we have with others. The writing is beautiful and heartfelt, and the memoir is a powerful tribute to the enduring human spirit.

    “By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept” by Paulo Coelho is a novel that tells the story of a young woman named Pilar who reunites with her childhood sweetheart after many years apart. The novel explores the themes of love, spirituality, and personal growth.

    This book captures the beauty and complexity of human emotions and relationships. The writing is lyrical and poetic, and the novel is a powerful reminder of the transformative power of love and self-discovery.

    I highly recommend these books as they each offer something unique and valuable to the reader. From heartwarming love stories to thought-provoking explorations of the human experience and powerful memoirs that celebrate the human spirit, these books are some of my favorites. No matter what you’re looking for, these books are sure to leave a lasting impression and offer insights that can enrich your life.

  • My Unforgettable Overnight Adventure at Mt. Pulag

    Mt. Pulag is a stunning mountain located in the northern part of the Philippines. It is known for its beautiful scenery and diverse ecosystems, and is a popular destination for outdoor enthusiasts. I had the opportunity to go on an overnight climbing trip to Mt. Pulag, and it was an incredible experience.

    During our overnight climbing trip to Mt. Pulag, we faced some unexpected challenges that almost made us give up. One of the biggest challenges was the extreme cold weather, which was much colder than we had anticipated. Despite being well-prepared with warm jackets and hats, we found it difficult to stay warm, especially at night. We had trouble sleeping because of the cold. We bundled up in multiple layers and tried to stay warm, but it was difficult.

    The next morning, we were feeling exhausted and discouraged. We wondered if we had what it takes to continue with the climb. However, we didn’t give up. We knew that the view from the summit would be worth it, and we were determined to reach our goal. Although the climb was still challenging, we found that our spirits were lifted by the stunning views along the way. We were able to push through the cold and reach the summit, which was an unforgettable experience. Looking back, we are so glad that we didn’t give up and were able to push through the challenges to reach our goal.

    Overall, our overnight climbing trip to Mt. Pulag taught us the importance of perseverance and determination in the face of unexpected challenges. While it was difficult at times, it was also incredibly rewarding, and we would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

  • My Human Design: Projector Type

    My Human Design: Projector Type

    As human beings, we are all unique and have different ways of experiencing and interacting with the world around us. Recently, I discovered my projector human design, which has been a fascinating journey of self-discovery and understanding.

    Human Design is a system that combines principles from astrology, the I Ching, Kabbalah, and the chakra system to create a blueprint of our individuality. It helps us understand our personality traits, strengths, weaknesses, and life purpose, allowing us to live a more fulfilling and authentic life.

    I have often pondered why I seem to lack the energy to accomplish various tasks compared to those around me. Despite my desire to pursue many different endeavors, I often find myself feeling fatigued and frustrated with my inability to do so. It has made me question why others seem capable of achieving so much more. Learning about my human design as a projector has provided me with a new perspective on this issue. As a projector, I learned that my energy is not designed to be constant or sustained but rather to work in short bursts of intense focus. This means that I can be highly productive during these periods, but I need to take breaks and rest when my energy levels are low. I also learned that I need to be careful about how I use my energy. I can easily become overwhelmed if I take on too much or try to work for extended periods. I need to be mindful of my energy levels and ensure that I take regular breaks and rest when needed.

    One of the strengths of being a projector is my ability to see things from different angles and perspectives. This makes me an excellent problem solver and advisor, as I can provide unique insights and solutions to challenges. Additionally, I have an innate talent for understanding people and their emotions, which makes me a natural mediator and peacemaker.

    One of the most significant benefits of learning about my projector human design has been the validation it has provided. It is comforting to know that my unique traits and characteristics are not flaws but are, in fact, an integral part of who I am. Knowing about my human design has provided me with a greater appreciation for my strengths and has helped me understand why I may not have the same level of energy as others. It is crucial to acknowledge that each of us is uniquely designed, and approaches that are effective for one individual may not necessarily be beneficial for another. Rather than feeling frustrated with my perceived lack of energy, I now strive to work in a way that complements my natural tendencies.

  • Northern Blossoms

  • Out in nature